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Richard S. Beam

279 Shakespeare’s Birth/Death day 2024

4/17/2024

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I see by my calendar that April 23rd, the day we refer to as “Shakespeare’s birthday” or, more correctly, “birth/death” day, is coming up in less than a week, so it seemed that this might be an appropriate time to consider posting some of my usual ramblings related to Shakespeare’s life, death, productivity, etc.  Therefore, here goes…

Shakespeare’s birth/death day, well, let’s see.  Actually, it’s his presumed birthday, as nobody felt that such insignificant things as birthdays were really all THAT important in those days.  Now, BAPTISMAL days WERE important, so we actually have records of that date in Bill’s case.  (THAT date being April 26, 1564, according to the actual church records, copies of which may be viewed at Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-Upon-Avon!)  Now, various “scholars” have decided to assign the day three days before his baptism as his ACTUAL birthday, which IS a perfectly reasonable and plausible choice, considering the general practices of the times, but it is, of course, a rather arbitrary choice.  It’ll do, however, since we don’t actually have real records, etc., AND it IS the same calendar day as the day he died (except for the year),  AND it’s also St. George’s Day (George being the patron saint of England) so it “rounds out” Bill’s life nicely and neatly, which seems to make some scholars happy.  Now, we can be pretty positive as to when Shakespeare died, as THAT day, apparently, was also of sufficient importance to actually be put into official records.  Anyway, the day in question, April 23rd, will be upon us shortly, so the time seems appropriate for a few of my occasional comments regarding Shakespeare, considering that it DOES mark the 460th anniversary of (what we think was POSSIBLY his BIRTHDAY)!

First, I should probably  confess right off the bat that I DO THINK THAT THE MAN FROM STRATFORD ACTUALLY WROTE THE PLAYS FOR WHICH HE HAS, TRADITIONALLY, BEEN GIVEN CREDIT!  I will, quite happily, admit that I can’t prove this, but given that this idea was virtually unchallenged for something around 200 years after his death, and not at all seriously until even later in the Nineteenth Century, suggests that there wasn’t (and isn’t) a great deal of actual evidence to support a challenge.  Still, I will admit that it’s possible that he didn’t, actually, write them.  However, it seems to me that notion would require that the most elaborate and comprehensive conspiracy in history had taken place, and was still continuing with a high degree of success.  Now, I really don’t wish to get into THAT sort of unproductive discussion, especially since I don’t find it all that worthy of discussion.

The fact is that, regardless of whom you wish to argue was their author, I am extremely fond of many of Shakespeare’s works (some others, less so).  I DO think they (as a group) are well worth the effort to actually read or see.  Note that I am implying that I wish that people would actually read, or, preferably, SEE, the original works, not some “Shakespeare for Dummies in Modern Language” sort of thing.  Yes, the English language has changed a bit from around 1600 to the present, but, there ARE people who have some actual expertise in the study of Shakespeare and his language who suggest that as much as 98% of Shakespeare’s words mean today, fairly exactly, what they meant 400 years ago when he wrote them.  I would suggest that this implies that it should be quite possible for an English literate person to figure out what was intended by the original words chosen, especially since most GOOD editions do contain some “Notes,” or other assistance for the reader.  

I would argue that such “Notes” should be taken with a certain degree of skepticism, however, and that many of Will’s works are well worth the effort to at least try to “puzzle out” their intent from the original words.  

I don’t think it’s, generally, wise to rely on what “somebody” SAYS the words mean, no matter how good their credentials appear.  I would argue that not relying on the original text requires, essentially, relying on a translation (interpretation) of the original words using the choices which someone other than that actual author suggests are “just as good” as the original words and are easier to understand.  After all, many words can, and DO, have multiple meanings which rely on the specific context surrounding them for their specific meanings.  It’s important to remember that ANY translation, in ANY language, MAY, quite easily, alter the context in such a way as to imply that one specific meaning is, in fact, the only acceptable one.  That MAY not be the case, as it suggests that it’s okay to change the words (to make them more understandable).  But, in fact, changing the words CAN, quite easily, change the meaning.  That’s what is meant by “interpretation.”  Now, interpretation MAY be essential for a specific production, but that doesn’t imply, or shouldn’t, that there are NO other options worthy of consideration.

To use my favorite example of how translation changes things (former students may remember this) I am told that En Attendant Godot (the French title) does NOT mean EXACTLY the same thing (at least to a French speaker) as the English title Waiting For Godot does.  Without claiming ANY authority in the French language beyond Basic French in undergraduate school and a “Techniques of Translation” course which was required of Ph.D. candidates, my understanding is that “En Attendant” implies the notion that the person to which it is applied is “in the act, or state, of waiting”, which isn’t QUITE the same as is implied by the simple English statement, “Waiting.”  I think it’s worth noting that Irish-born, native English-speaking, Beckett, wrote the original text of the play IN FRENCH, and then did his own TRANSLATION/REWORKING into the English version, but, “scholars” would (and have) argued that the two languages simply don’t translate exactly, as is true of MOST (if not ALL) languages.  


I would suggest that “Translating” Shakespeare into “modern” English is, in fact, much like this.  It is, in fact, a rewriting of the original.  One still might end up with a good work, but it’s NOT, actually, the same.  Yes, we theatre (and movie) people tamper with the originals when we cut them for production, or, otherwise, do anything except an unedited, “original practices” production, (which STILL wouldn’t be the same as the change in historical period (hence the context) would invalidate that notion.  On the other hand, we, theatre people should (and, I believe, most do), make it quite clear from the get go that the specific production being presented represents OUR interpretation.  Anything else would be, in my opinion, dishonest.  I also like to think that most theatre people at least try to present an “honest” adaptation in their productions, even as they freely admit that they have made “choices” in their interpretation/understanding of specific words and/or phrases, etc.

I tend to agree with the quote from Sir Ian McKellen which I used back in Post 276 (not so long ago) which said:

If you start as a director by saying, ‘How can we make this play available to a bright 14-year-old who's prepared to give us two or three hours of their precious time,’ rather than saying, ‘Oh, everybody knows this play.  How can we make it different?’… it won't inhibit you.  You'll still get productions which vary and have a different emphasis and a different attitude, a different style, and that's absolutely fine.  But I think it should always be done with a new audience in mind.

I think this idea allows for reasonable adaptation/interpretation, while also providing for the possibility of remaining true to the original author’s work.

I think this is also true of the actor’s work.  A good deal of modern acting theory suggests the need for actor to perform “honestly,” or “with reality.”  It’s heresy I know, but I tend to agree with Laurence Olivier when he said, “Acting is illusion, as much illusion as magic is, and not so much a matter of being real.”  After all, theatre is MAKE BELIEVE.  As I, have said many times; “The best script, the best cast, with the best setting and costumes, directed by the best director, is still just a bunch of people saying words and stumbling around in the dark until some techie turns on the lights.”  That’s because theatre is NOT, by definition, “REAL!”  In fact, it is much closer to the “reality” of children playing, than it is to actual “life.”

But many, maybe most, performers want to APPEAR, to create the illusion of being “real,” so they invent complicated “backstories” of their characters, and use other techniques to achieve this.  Sir Ian commented on that notion during Episode 195 of the Shakespeare Unlimited podcast produced by the Folger Shakespeare Library;

The first word in Richard III is “now.”  “Now is the winter of our discontent,” Shakespeare plays are happening in front of your eyes, “now.” He has this technique where he sometimes uses a chorus to tell you what’s been going on, but things have been going on and you’re in the middle. The play starts in the middle of life, “now.”

For an actor to worry too much about… how come at 80, he’s got three daughters? Could they have had the same mother, Queen Lear? And where is she? She’s never mentioned. Or, did he have two wives and did the second wife die in childbirth? And is Cordelia now of an age and looking like her mother when King Lear fell in love with her and married her? Well, you can invent all this, but it won’t really advance what the audience sees in the story. He’s not interested in the mother or mothers. I used to wear two wedding rings, for the alert, but it doesn’t matter.

Now, it might matter to the actor. It might make it easier for the actor to remember the mother of Cordelia as he looks into the young girl’s eyes. But you can’t start explaining all that to the audience, and if Shakespeare wanted you to, he would’ve put in the scene, the speech, the reminiscence which would’ve made for that clarity, which sometimes we as an actors, we can feel we’re missing.

So you just have to say, “Now,” and get on.

I hope this gives some people something to think about.  I think it might be worth the effort.

On a lighter note, I ran across this a while back and hoped I’d find a place to use it.  I think it’s funny, as well as true.  Maybe you will, too.
​
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See! Shakespearian language CAN be figured out.  As stated before, there are folks who suggest that at least 90+% of the words he used haven’t really changed in meaning since Will wrote them.  I’m not sure that that’s absolutely true, or could be proven, but it’s not all that hard to figure most of it out.  After all, even theatre critics at least pretend to understand the plays:
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Of course, we theatre people (sensitive blokes that we are) have been know to sometimes take umbrage at critics’ commentary:
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But we do seem to “get over” even the “nasty” comments and just “get on with it” and keep going.   I suspect we are either very smart, or very stupid, or, perhaps a bit of both.

Oh, well, enough of this, rambling, theatre talk.  Go work on a play, act, direct, design, build one.  It will be good for your soul.  At least, go see one (even a GOOD movie version, will help), you’ll see!

I think the thing that allows most theatre people to maintain at least a certain level of optimism at all times is remembering that: “It’s ALWAYS opening night because this audience has never seen this performance of this production!”  That’s a sort-of quote from a whole lot of theatre people (including me)!

I will be back in a couple of weeks,

🖖🏼 LLAP,

Dr. B
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#278 Stuff people say!

4/3/2024

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This is just a collection of odd stuff (mostly labelled as jokes) which I’ve picked up over the years that purport to be based on stuff that someone MIGHT overhear in public.  They seemed amusing to me.  If they offend anyone, I’m sorry, I still found them rather funny.  

I don’t consider this to, specifically, be a “Polack” joke.  I just think of it as just acknowledging that there are such things as language/cultural differences which are, sometimes, amusing.  Similar examples DO occur in many languages and/or cultures!

    A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

    First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

    The optician showed him a card with the letters


    'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

    'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

    'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.’

--

Kids can be awkward, can’t they?

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle.  During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.

    “It’s the minister, Mommy” the child said.

    Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now.  She’s hitting the bottle.”

--
Quasimodo is looking for an assistant!

    Quasimodo was thinking about retiring, so he advertised for a replacement bell ringer at Notre Dame.

    One day there is a knock at the door and he finds a man with no arms standing in front of him.

    "I want to apply for the job," the man says,"and before you ask how I can do it, let me show you."

     Quasimodo leads him up the tower to the bell chamber.


    The man bends backwards at the waist, then forcefully throws his upper body forward and
     strikes the bell with his face.

    The bell swings away, ringing loudly, but when it swings back it strikes the man full on and sends
   him flying from the tower to the street below. Quasi rushes down to where a crowd has gathered
   around the man's body. One of them asks, "Do you know who this poor man is?"


    Quasimodo says, "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.

--
How to sneak your dog into a restaurant!

    Two guys are walking down the road with their dogs, one guy has a Doberman and the other
    has a Chihuahua, when they come across a restaurant.


    They want to go in but there's a sign on the door that says, "no pets allowed - service dogs only." 
    
    The guy with the Doberman says, "don't worry I got this."


    He proceeds to put on a dark pair of sunglasses and walks inside.  

    The manager comes up to him and says, "Sir, you can't have your dog in here."  

    The man replies, you don't understand, this is my seeing guide dog."  

    Skeptical, the manager asks, "Your guide dog is a Doberman?"  

    The man replies, "you see, a Doberman helps protect me against burglars." 


    The manager lets him through.

    The chihuahua guy sees this and puts on a pair of dark sunglasses and walks inside.  
    The manager approaches him and says, "Sir, you can't bring your dog in here." 

    The man replies, "You don't understand, this is my seeing guide dog." 

    The manager, ever so skeptical, asks, "your guide dog is a Chihuahua?" 

    The man, quick to think, says, "A Chihuahua?  They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"


--
How to make money

    A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

    The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said,

    "Well, son, it was 1932.  The depth of the Great Depression.  I was down to my last nickel.

    I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end
    of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

    The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples.  I spent the entire day polishing
    them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. 

     I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.


    Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars.

__
Be careful what you wish for:

    A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
    As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.

    The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

    "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

    A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man
    reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.


    The next day, the man and the ostrich again come in and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger,
    fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."


    Once again, the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.

    "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
    salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.


     A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." 

     Once again, the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.  “Excuse me, sir.  How do you manage to
    always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"


    "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp.
    When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My first wish was that if I ever
    had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
    would always be there."


    "That's brilliant!" says the waitress.  "Most people would wish for a million dollars or  something,
    but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"


    "That's right.  Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,"
​     says the man.


    The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

    The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who
     agrees with everything I say.
​

--
There’s a whole category of stories which we might call “Lawyer Jokes.”  Here’s a couple from that group:

     A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake.  The old legal lions gave them a
    fight for their life and their  money.  The gang was very happy to escape.


    "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

    The boss screamed: "We had $100 when we broke in!

--
While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.  "My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Adam," replied the second.

"My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Joshua.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.


--
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer.  "If     I lose this case, I'll be ruined."  "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.  

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no!  This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior.  A stunt like that would prejudice him against you.  He might even hold you in contempt of court.  In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."  


Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.  As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, 

"Thanks for the tip about the cigars.  It worked!" 

The lawyer said, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."  

He said, "But I did send them."  

"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.  

"Yes. That's how we won the case."  

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.  

"It's easy.  I sent the cigars to the judge but enclosed the plaintiff's business card." 

--
Problems at work!

    Man says to his boss, “Can we talk?  I have a problem.”

    Boss says “Problem?  No such thing, we call it an opportunity!”

    Man says “Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.”

--
Ya gotta know when to quit!

A man is waiting for wife to give birth.  The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.  The son is just a head!  But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.  After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink.  Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.  With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.  Swoooop!  A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.  The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.  The patrons chant "Take another drink"!  The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.

Swoooop!  Two arms pop out.  The bar goes wild.  The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again.  The patrons chant, "Take another drink"!  The bartender ignores the whole affair.  By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.  Swoooop!  Two legs pop out.

The bar is in chaos.  The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.  The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent.  The father moans in grief.  The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head.”
_______

I suspect that’s about enough of this sort of thing for anybody to take at one time, so I’ll stop now.  (Aren’t you glad?)  I plan to return in a couple of weeks if, as they say, “The Good Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise.”  I hope at least some  readers will return…

🖖🏼 LLAP,

Dr. B
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