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Richard S. Beam

190     Thanksgiving 2020

11/18/2020

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Well, it’s almost time for Thanksgiving, the holiday when, traditionally, we all get together and engage in the usual family feuds over which football game to watch (assuming there are any this year), who expressed the most obnoxious political opinions at the dinner table, who overate the most, etc.  And, when it’s all over, a good time MAY have been had by all (but probably wasn’t).  The legend of the “perfect” Thanksgiving was probably portrayed most successfully by Norman Rockwell in 1943.  Here’s a copy of his Freedom From Want from his series called The Four Freedoms.
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Certainly, this is a very pleasant image, but for many people, that’s all it is.  There are still too many who are hungry and tired and don’t have adequate food, or shelter, let alone sufficient health care, and they are NOT all the “undeserving” poor as some seem to believe.  It MAY be true that the notion of “all men are created equal” is true in the eyes of the law and society, although it doesn’t really seem to work that way if one actually pays attention to the world around us.   One does not have to look very hard to realize that everyone is NOT considered to be of equal value to our society and/or is deserving of fair and equal treatment by all levels of our governments, no matter what we say in our “founding documents.”
 
The fact that we, as a society, have not always lived up to those ideals and expectations doesn’t alter the fact that we say we are supposed to practice what we preach.  But it IS in our power at least to make some effort in that direction, and that’s what I would wish for at Thanksgiving time.  We SAY that Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks that everyone is free from want, mistreatment, and injustice.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be the real case.  Of course, one COULD argue that the whole premise of Thanksgiving has, largely, been pretense since its inception.  
 
The “First” Thanksgiving was a three-day Puritan festival in October of 1621, near the Plymouth colony in Massachusetts.  (That is, unless you accept the idea that it really was in 1607 (or possibly later?) in Virginia, as some Virginians claim.)  In any event, it was a quasi-religious celebration of the fact that some (mostly English) people had lived through crossing the Atlantic to North America; survived here for about a year and felt it necessary to give thanks for that fact.  It is believed that there were 90 “Native Americans,” and 53 surviving colonists present at that “first” Thanksgiving.  The natives were invited because they had provided assistance to the colonists, without which most believe (and believed) they would not have survived.
 
Now, I have to be grateful for the fact that John Alden and Priscilla Mullins had survived both the crossing and the first year of settlement at Plymouth.  The rest of the Mullins family hadn’t made it and John Alden, who had hired on as a member of the ship’s crew had decided to remain as a colonist.  John and Priscilla eventually married, and I am a descendent of theirs (but that’s a story for another time).  By the way, one of their children, also named John Alden, was accused of witchcraft during the Salem Witch Trial times, a number of years later, but he got away, unlike Martha Carrier, my 8th Great Grandmother, who has hanged during the Salem “Witch” Trials on Aug. 19, 1692.  But I digress, again.
 
Eventually, with assistance from the local “Native Americans” the colony became established and proceeded to expand into territory which placed it at odds with the “locals” who had helped them survive that first year.  What with the enhanced firepower of European weaponry and the importation of European disease, the impact on those “locals” was devastating, and numerous wars broke out and would become a major portion of the history of colonial (later American) expansion, not just in New England, but throughout the entirety of North America.  
 
Eventually, of course, the “Native Americans” would be confined to inadequate reservations on, generally, poor land and their way of life and languages would be largely destroyed.  Many of those people would be killed by accident, or through the “benevolence” of those of European heritage who felt it was their “right” to dominate them because they (the settlers) were “civilized” (by their standards), “educated” (by their standards), Caucasians of European (dominantly British at first) extraction and, therefore, it was “God’s will” that they run the world as they were superior to others by virtue of their own self-defined superiority.  This “right” also justified the capture and importation of slaves from among the “inferior” peoples of the world to do much of the manual labor which was needed to support the “superior” class.  Since such people weren’t OF that class, they could (and were) merely seen as property, not as “real” people, at all.  It’s important to note that such ideas were not just limited to the southern colonies, as all too many “Yankees” would have you believe today.  No, slaves existed even among the Puritans of New England, at least for a period of time.
 
Still, I am thankful at Thanksgiving that some of that group of colonists would eventually become “enlightened” enough to wish to throw off the reins of “Royal England” and establish the United States.  (Note: this process is, properly defined as “Treason,” but history is always written by the winners, so we now call it “patriotism” and those people “The Founding Fathers.”)  In doing so, they created some of the most amazingly idealistic and wonderful documents ever conceived, at least in my opinion.  (As literature, I would suggest that they are clearly “Romantic,” although quite early for that movement.) Those documents were an attempt to establish an idealistically democratic system of government of a nature previously unheard of in human history.  They didn’t do too bad a job in writing them, according to their understanding of reality at that time.  And they do read very nicely.
 
Unfortunately, their notion of reality did not provide for the idea that men who didn’t own property, women, or those humans who were owned as property should have rights, as they were not considered “people” who could be trusted with the rights of citizenship. That exalted rank should be confined to those capable of understand how to use those powers “properly.”  In other words, they were not civilized, educated, male, Caucasians of European extraction.  I confess that I’m not very surprised by this, as that was, in fact, the accepted notion of reality at the time, at least by those with the power to run things.  
 
I hasten to state that I don’t think this is how things should be viewed today, but I also don’t believe that we should discard the good things these people said (or did), because they don’t seem to have held up to be the God-like creatures we have tried to make them into in our American mythology.  No, they were, of course, simply human beings trying to move forward towards what they believed would be a more desirable future for all people, as they understand the concept of “people” to be.  Unfortunately for their memory, the general definition of what constitutes “people” has changed a bit in 200 years.  I don’t think that’s their fault, just the fact that our view of the world has changed, or at least we SAY it has.
 
My thinking about these things was stimulated by the controversy over the removal of the names of the “great generals of the Confederacy” (which some have referred to as “our heritage”), from military installations and their statues from public parks, etc., because they defended slavery, which most of us now suggest was not a good thing.  I would suggest that removing those names and statues might well be appropriate but doing that is more correctly justified because they committed treason against the United States than just because of their opinions about slavery.  (See Article III, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution.)  After all, rightly, or wrongly, slavery was accepted in the original version of the Constitution.  We should not deny the reality of our history, but “honoring” those defined as treasonous to their oath to the Constitution makes no sense whatsoever.  
 
I’m also intrigued by the idea that there are some who say that the “original intent” of the Constitution, applying the understanding of it at the time of its writing, should be honored in all cases.  I find it amusing that some (especially women and Blacks) of those who support this notion would choose to do so, as the “original intent” clearly would not provide for them to be citizens, let alone on the Supreme Court where that idea comes most clearly into play.  That’s an entirely different point, however, as I think even those folks would argue that the definition of Treason is pretty clear.  “Honoring” treason by anyone at any time seems inappropriate, at best.
 
To get back to Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that we, as a people, are capable of rethinking the ideas of the past and, at least occasionally, modifying our expectations to express our awareness of the idea that reality is not fixed, but can change in response to new (or reexamined) information.  I’m thankful for our Founding Fathers, whatever their faults.  They may not have always lived up to the ideals they espoused by the standards of today, but they expressed them pretty well and gave us something to aim for.  I don’t think we can claim to live up to them completely, ourselves, but I’m thankful that we try.
 
Even if you are not a devout believer in some external, divine power, however, I think that it’s still wise, every so often, to stop and consider that, as imperfect as the world (and we, its people) is, we have things which we can celebrate and be grateful for: family; friends; pets; life, itself.  COVID-19 may have made things harder at the moment, but all one has to do is to consider that there ARE people trying to make this a better, safer world for all of us to understand that there are things to be thankful for.
 
So, take a little time during this season, to sit quietly and consider what you can be thankful for.  It’s a pleasant exercise and is probably good for you.
 
I’m thankful for you.
 
LLAP,
 
Dr. B
 
P.S.  Putting your thanks into action by helping to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and shelter the destitute isn’t a bad idea as a way to SHOW your thankfulness.  Think about what you can do.  Most of us can do something.
 
P.P.S.  If you can’t do anything else, WEAR A MASK!  I’d prefer that your faith in medical advice from someone with just a B.S. in Econ didn’t cause me, or my loved ones to get sick and, possibly, die.  I will be thankful to you, if you consult with medical personnel.
 
P.P.P.S.  I also feel that I should point out that we should always be thankful for our families and friends.  They may drive us crazy at times, but they are still ours.  See this Dustin strip below:

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Happy Thanksgiving!            RSB
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189     English Language & Grammar Humor 1

11/4/2020

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Well, it's OVER!  This election has been VERY difficult for me.  Now the voting is complete, and the counting will soon be and, no matter how it comes out, it's time to get away from the political ads, name-calling and other assorted “whoop-de-doo” so we can focus on sanity and REAL life.  So, here goes....
 
I suppose that it’s partially inherited from my mother’s father who was a Professor of English, but I have always been interested in the intelligent use of the English language.  Yes, I certainly have used my share of slang and jargon (Jargon: the proper name for the language, especially the vocabulary, peculiar to a particular trade, profession, or group).  And, I have been known to use a fairly broad range of vulgarisms during my life. Of course, all of these sorts of things are, in fact, legitimate parts of a language, even if such “special” words may be frowned on by my wife and varying groups of the “language police.”
 
English is a language with roots which can be traced to much of Northern Europe, France, Rome and a wide variety of Celtic and other influences.  And, I should add, unlike French and some other languages, it has really never been successfully standardized, although people constantly do insist on trying to do so.  (Never completely successfully, I should note.)  Some suggest that this lack of standardization MAY be why it seems well-suited for poetry and other forms of linguistic invention. I think it's also why it is so easy to find (or make up) humor based on the foibles of the language. 
 
I got to thinking about this a few weeks ago when someone sent me some grammatical variations on the classic “A man walked into a bar” jokes.  This led me to look up “language humor” and I found that there is a good deal of it posted out there.  So, I thought I’d share some of what I found. I hope you enjoy it.  Who knows, you might even have some questions regarding some of them.  I’ll admit that I had to think about some.  Still, I think they're amusing, and I hope you will, too.  I've also included some grammar/language cards and signs because I found them funny.
 
An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
 
A dangling participle walks into a bar.  Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
 
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
 
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
 
Two quotation marks walked into a "bar."
 
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
 
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
 
A question mark walks into a bar?
 
A non sequitur walks into a bar.  In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
 
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar.  The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
 
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

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Question:  Am I the only one who is offended by those tv commercials which feature comments from "Real people, not actors"?  I've known a lot of actors in my life and all of them at least seemed to be real people.
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At the risk of reverting to "professorial" mode, I include this.  I confess that I wish I had found it before I got so involved with editing BFA theses.  Had I done so; I would have included this (with a warning) in the syllabus materials for that class. 
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I do NOT suggest trying to copy this by typing it.  Computer “spell-checkers” do NOT like it.
 
There seems to be quite a lot of folks who have noticed that many people have difficulty with commas, and so they have posted amusing examples.  Here are some:
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Question:  When people talk about “an ask,” is it just a spelling error or is it some other form of ignorance?
 
One of my watchwords from my paper grading/thesis editing days was:
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Then, I saw this Non Sequitur cartoon which I thought funny.
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I thought it even funnier when I read one of the comments relating to this cartoon which said: "But they’ll still row, rho, roe at the homonym regatta."
 
Bonnie and I were watching something on the news recently when the reporter, referring to plans for opening schools, mentioned the idea that the desks needed to be spaced out in the classrooms to avoid spreading COVID. This got us to thinking about how the phrase "spaced out" has recently come to mean something quite different from what it did when we were in college.  That amused us a good deal, so I thought I'd include mention of this in this post.  Ah, the changes time brings to language.  
 
Here's another example from "Zits:"
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Maybe I'll do a post on language humor again sometime.  I've found it rather fun.  And, we can always use all the humor we can find.
 
In any event, I'll be back in a couple of weeks....
 
LLAP,
 
Dr. B
 
P.S.  I saw this the other day and couldn’t resist.  Okay, it COULD be considered political, by those with no sense of humor, but it gave me hysterics!
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