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205 “Independence” Day

6/30/2021

Well, it’s almost time for the Fourth of July fireworks frenzy in Omaha and, I assume, in a lot of other places, as well.  This is, of course, the traditional “Independence Day” for the US, being the day that the Declaration of Independence was formally adopted by the Second Continental Congress in 1776.  However, it struck me recently that some folks seem to consider June 19, 1865 as a sort of “independence day,” that being the day in all of those formerly held as slaves in the US were finally declared to be free.  “Juneteenth” is, in fact, considered important enough that it has, just this year, been made a Federal holiday. So, one could argue that it is also an “independence day.”

I would also think that some might suggest that January 1, 1863, is also an “independence day” of a sort, that being the date the Emancipation Proclamation (said to have ended slavery) took effect during the Civil War. These facts, at least to me, suggest that one could make several arguments as to which of these is the most appropriate to consider as the REAL Independence Day.

The Declaration of Independence, of course, was a statement regarding what the (now declared as former) colonies regarded as their relationship with England.  It really was about the former colonies becoming separate states, with little to say about individuals.

The Emancipation Proclamation (January 1863) is usually considered as having ended slavery in the US (an important, but rather different, sort of “independence).  Of course, it really didn’t actually do that, as paragraph two says:

That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.

Read that again.  It states that the slaves have been freed in those areas “…the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, ….”  That is, those areas not controlled by the Union.  Juneteenth (June 19, 1865) is the day on which the last of the formerly Confederate States were placed under Union control and the provisions of the Emancipation Proclamation were applied in those areas.  Slaves held in states which were NOT “in rebellion” were NOT freed and are, in fact, ignored until the ratification of the Thirteenth Amendment on December 6, 1865.

I take this to mean that one could make a pretty good case (as far as individual independence is concerned) that December 6 is at least as logical a day as June 19, but I don’t make the rules and really don’t wish to do so.

So, what’s the REAL “Independence Day?”  My suspicion is that it’s most likely that that question will be ignored and that “the Fourth of July” continues to be the day to celebrate American freedom of all sorts.  And, I can’t believe that it’s going to make much real difference.  The mid-summer festival of fireworks, beer, cookouts, etc. is almost certain to continue as the early July tradition it’s been for quite some time.  The parades (where they are still held) are likely to continue.  It’s not so much a celebration of a specific day as it is a celebration of an idea: that the PEOPLE choose the government which best suits them.  My only hope is that we continue to accept the idea that while democracy can be (and often is) messy, it’s still better than any form of government which is dominated by the few, even if they claim that it’s all in the name of “the greater good.”  I believe that the greater good is supposed to be determined by people thinking AND VOTING.  We don’t need parties, priests, or demagogues to tell us what’s right for us.  We decide for ourselves.  ‘Nuff said.

In honor of the Fourth, here are some cartoons and jokes which I’ve collected which relate to the Fourth.  I’ll admit that some of these are better than others, but enjoy!

How come there aren’t any knock-knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
Liber-tea.
What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.
What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
Tea-shirts.

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
It can’t sit down.
What ghost haunted King George III?
The spirit of ’76!
What do our flag and a sad candy cane have in common?
They are both red, white, and blue.
Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?
Laughayette.
Why did the duck say bang?
Because he was a firequacker.
Was the Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia?
     No, it was written in ink.

This is NOT a joke!  I do NOT suggest this for anyone!

What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?
A Yankee Doodler.
Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
Enjoy your celebration but remember that not everyone wants to enjoy it the same way.  Be kind to your pets!

What did the firecracker eat at the movies?
     Pop-corn.
What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
     A fire-cracker.
What did one flag say to the other flag?
     Nothing. It just waved.
What is red, white, blue, and green?
     A seasick Uncle Sam.

Okay, I never promised you funny jokes!

LLAP,

Dr. B

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204 On Getting Older

6/18/2021

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One of the things about having knee surgery, as I have had recently, is that it forces you to contemplate the reality that you aren’t as young as you used to be and there are things you used to do which are, if not impossible, at least are not particularly wise to assume are still realistic options.  Like, ladders, as a case in point.  I have no idea how many hours I’ve spent on ladders working in the theatre, but it’s been a lot.  I’ve even had several falls from ladders and other assorted “incidents.”  I will admit they were probably my own fault, and I don’t believe that any permanent damage was done.  (I’ll never know that for certain.) But while I am (more slowly than I would like) rebuilding strength and stamina in my “bad” knee, I find myself being glad that I don’t have to “play” on ladders anymore, as I am much more conscious of the reality of falling and how undesirable that is.  There are other examples, but that’s probably enough.

I find myself surprised that I’ve never done a post specifically related to observations about getting older.  I know I have touched on the subject from time to time, but, apparently, it’s never been the basis of a complete posting.  That being the case, in the light of my recent experiences with symptoms of aging, I thought I’d see what I could come up with.

I think what really precipitated this was that I was watching something on TV a while back and seeing an ad for AARP encouraging folks born in the mid 1960’s to join up right away.  That triggered the idea that you must be getting old when the AARP ads are aimed at people who were being born when you graduated from college.

Of course, the funny thing about getting older is that no one really feels older until they run into one of those “Aging Walls,” like all of a sudden realizing that you can’t do all of the things you used to when you were young (whether you should have been doing them or not).  Oh, well, here’s some of what I came up with.

There was this “sign” I saw a while back which I could easily identify with:

There’s also the fact that you got ONE print from the developer and the negative, requiring the better part of a week if you wanted a copy to share. (The digital age isn’t ALL bad!)

I am forced to admit that this Between Friends really struck home to me:

There are LOTS of signs that you may be getting older, but this list struck me as having some pretty good ones.

Signs you are getting older:

1. You don't hold in your stomach when someone young and attractive enters the room.

2. You can live without sex but not without glasses.

3. You are proud of your lawn mower.

4. Your friend is dating someone half his age, but not breaking the law.

5. You can sing along with elevator music.

6. Someone calls your house at 9 pm, and asks, 'Did I wake you up?

There’s also the fact that every so often you have a “flashback” to your childhood, like this reference in Shoe from a couple of years ago:

Something like that can bring back LOTS of other memories of our past, which may well not be appreciated by “youngsters.”

There ARE other signs of age, of course. The entire concept of getting “high” takes on an entirely different meaning as you age.

I suspect that most of us have things we can look back on from our “younger” years with a certain amount of sneaky pleasure. This is merely one possibility, but probably applies to those who grew up in a more rural environment more than to “city-dwellers.”

I will admit that there ARE some advantages to be an “older.” Chief among them is retirement. Retirement is that phase of life when one can say with some real sense of truth that:

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Q. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.

Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything done.

Q. Why don't retirees mind being called senior citizens?
A. The term comes with a 10% discount.

Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.

Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.

Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A. NUTS!

Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal

Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never-ending Coffee Break.

Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

While I’m glad to have lived as long as I have, I confess that I do, on occasion, wonder how much things have changed for the better. After all,

Are we REALLY that much better off with 37 flavors, 96 vitamins and minerals and “non-caloric” sweeteners all packed in plastic bottles? It’s worth thinking about.

I do have to admit that I have considerable sympathy for this notion of Garfield’s:

Unfortunately, not being a cartoon, I can’t avoid getting older. So, while I may be old, I ain’t dead yet and I still have plans to LLAP.

I’ll be back,

The OLD guy,

Dr. B

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203 Reading and the like…

6/4/2021

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Perhaps what I have missed the most while on a seriously reduced activity schedule as my knee returns to something resembling normalcy, is reading.  Now it is true that I have continued to read some, but it’s been harder and less productive for the past few weeks than has been the case for most of my life.

As I have said before, my mother was a librarian and her father was a Professor of English, which may explain why I have been a heavy reader all of my life.  Even when I was working full-time, going to school for those early classes we all disliked, spending my afternoons in the shop and many evenings in rehearsals, I almost always sat down to read for a while before going to bed.  And I might be reading almost anything, from a popular novel to a scholarly study related to Shakespeare.  I found it much easier to unwind with a book than any other way.

Unfortunately, my favored position to “curl up and read” has included putting my left ankle on my right knee and placing my chosen material in the lap created by doing so.  My recent operation has made this difficult (and somewhat painful) as the force which this exerts on the (newly operated on) left knee has proven to be quite uncomfortable.  Hence, I am stuck trying to find a different position in which to read and the mending/healing process has made even just sitting, for the extended periods of time necessary to satisfy my reading habit, difficult.  As a result, I’ve been going to bed early, not sleeping particularly well and NOT GETTING MY READING IN!

I realize that I have little to complain about, it the grand scheme of things.  I have a wife who dotes on me far more than I could possibly deserve and no serious concerns about access to food, shelter or any of the “needs” of life.  What I consider to be fantastic health care is readily available, and museums, concerts, plays, etc. will be/are in the process of returning so that, once my knee is up to it, I can easily have a more than just satisfactory life in my retirement.  I just miss my reading.  I do get some done, but it’s not enough to be really satisfying!

Anyway, since I’m not reading enough to suit me, I thought I’d do a blog post related to that topic.  So, here’s some of what I found buried in my files of “stuff and junk” which seemed to be at least vaguely related to the subject at hand.

I guess that the first thing I should include is this from Non Sequitur; one of my favorite comic strips.  I find it probably as least as important as anything else I read on a regular basis.  I’ve had this one in the file for a couple of years, but it just might explain how I feel about reading in general:

In a totally different direction, I loaned Maggi one of my videos of Macbeth not long ago, which precipitated some discussion of that play after she and Brian had watched it. I should quickly point out that one of the reasons I was never very enthusiastic about including “the Scottish play” in reading lists for my classes is that I have always found a number of aspects of that script somewhat challenging to understand, in spite of the fact that I was in a production of it when I was an undergraduate.  (With Kevin Kline and Marc Singer also appearing in minor roles.)  As I have gotten a bit older (and read more), I think I have greater insight into the script now than I did 20-30 years ago.  Then, a couple of years ago, I ran across this discussion of “equivocation” which I thought made that entire concept entirely understandable for the first time in my life.  While it’s a minor point, in the “drunken Porter” scene (II, 3), the porter makes a pointed political/religious reference to “…an equivocator that could swear in both the scales against either scale, who committed treason enough for God’s sake yet could not equivocate to heaven.”  This notion of “equivocation” is commonly explained by editors through reference to the idea that outlawed Catholic priests and sympathizers had been given permission by the Church to use equivocal (is this a “circular” definition, or what?) or ambiguous expressions when tortured into giving testimony regarding Catholic activities in England, especially in order to mislead the Protestant authorities who were persecuting the Catholics at the time.  I always found this hard to understand, let alone explain.  Then I ran across this story:

Getting a hairdryer through customs...

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor of you?”

“Of course, child.  What can I do for you?”

“I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday.  It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me?  Could you possibly hide it under your robes for me?”

“I would love to help you my dear; but I must warn you, I will not lie!”

“With your honest face, Father, I'm sure no one will question you!”

When they got to customs, she let the priest go first.  The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer a little strange, so he asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvelous instrument that has been designed for use on women, but which, to date, remains unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father.”

I think this explains the concept of “equivocation” both precisely and completely.

In further thinking about reading, I was forced to wonder how much easier so many aspects of life might be if people were simply more careful about reading and following instructions.

Case in point:

It makes you stop and think, doesn’t it?

In perusing other miscellaneous stuff in my files, I ran across this listing labelled as “Not so deep thoughts.”  In reexamining them, I am less sure that the label can be seen as highly accurate.

Not So Deep Thoughts

1. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

4. Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

5. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

6. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

7. Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

Just to close things out for this posting, I want to point out that a while ago (December of 2018, I think it was) I ran across an old friend from my distant past when I was something of a “folkie” while I was in high school and college.  He was introduced to us by Peter, Paul and Mary along about 1967 and I had assumed that he had retired long ago.  Needless to say, when I ran across him just hanging around in the Conservatory at Omaha’s Lauritzen Gardens late in 2018, I was a bit surprised, but glad to see an old friend.

One of these days (fairly soon, I hope), my knee will be strong and stable enough that I can actually resume life to a higher degree of normalcy than I’ve yet achieved, and I can do more to catch up on both correspondence and reading. In the meantime, I’ll just keep mining the files for stuff to keep my brain cells occupied and, perhaps, provide a bit of amusement for myself and my readers.

In the meantime, take care of yourself,

LLAP,

Dr. B

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205 “Independence” Day

204 On Getting Older

203 Reading and the like…

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