I find myself surprised that I’ve never done a post specifically related to observations about getting older. I know I have touched on the subject from time to time, but, apparently, it’s never been the basis of a complete posting. That being the case, in the light of my recent experiences with symptoms of aging, I thought I’d see what I could come up with.
I think what really precipitated this was that I was watching something on TV a while back and seeing an ad for AARP encouraging folks born in the mid 1960’s to join up right away. That triggered the idea that you must be getting old when the AARP ads are aimed at people who were being born when you graduated from college.
Of course, the funny thing about getting older is that no one really feels older until they run into one of those “Aging Walls,” like all of a sudden realizing that you can’t do all of the things you used to when you were young (whether you should have been doing them or not). Oh, well, here’s some of what I came up with.
There was this “sign” I saw a while back which I could easily identify with:
I am forced to admit that this Between Friends really struck home to me:
Signs you are getting older:
1. You don't hold in your stomach when someone young and attractive enters the room.
2. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
3. You are proud of your lawn mower.
4. Your friend is dating someone half his age, but not breaking the law.
5. You can sing along with elevator music.
6. Someone calls your house at 9 pm, and asks, 'Did I wake you up?
There’s also the fact that every so often you have a “flashback” to your childhood, like this reference in Shoe from a couple of years ago:
There ARE other signs of age, of course. The entire concept of getting “high” takes on an entirely different meaning as you age.
Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.
Q. What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything done.
Q. Why don't retirees mind being called senior citizens?
A. The term comes with a 10% discount.
Q. Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.
Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A. They are the only ones who have the time.
Q. What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Q. Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Q. What do retirees call a long lunch?
Q. What is the best way to describe retirement?
A. The never-ending Coffee Break.
Q. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Q. Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
While I’m glad to have lived as long as I have, I confess that I do, on occasion, wonder how much things have changed for the better. After all,
I do have to admit that I have considerable sympathy for this notion of Garfield’s:
I’ll be back,
The OLD guy,