In any event, I thought that the world might need a little cheering up, so I’ve been looking through the list of jokes which I collect as I think of, or discover, them from various sources with the thought that they might bring a little cheer into what often seems like a rather depressing time of year. Some of them have been around for a while (some are, in fact, pretty old, I think), but some are new, at least to me. Anyway, I hope they may help lighten the mood.
In keeping with the recent season:
The reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the naughty girls live…
With apologies to my friends who are Chicago Cubs fans:
What would the Chicago Cubs be called if they moved to the Phillipines?
The Manila Folders
It hadn’t occurred to me until I saw this the other day, but:
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters, or Twin Peaks.
Do they just give you a big bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
On the other hand:
Arguing with some people is like reading a Software License Agreement.
In the end, you just ignore everything and click on "I Agree."
Oddly enough, cemeteries often provide sources of unexpected humor, such as the following:
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon him for not rising.
This one makes a lot of sense, at least to me:
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
I liked this one:
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.
An old one from England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.
One from Ribbesford, England:
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.
On a grave from the 1880’s in Nantucket, Mass.:
Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God.
That’s probably enough of that for now. I have more and will keep collecting as I can, so I’ll probably do this again some time, when the mood strikes me.
Other random thoughts:
There’s a small (1300 student), private university located in Fremont, NE where we went to see The Good Doctor last fall which (as is true of a number of schools) has a short, “January term” where the students take one “in depth” class for about a month to provide a very concentrated focus for a short time. In any event, at Midland, the school to which I refer, is using this term to prepare and present two shows by its performing arts students; Damn Yankees and Quilters. These are scheduled for the last two weekends of this month and Bonnie and I hope to get to at least one of them, maybe both. That will depend a good deal on the weather, as Midland is about 45 minutes away on good, but country, roads. It’s not a bad drive in good weather (after all, we used to routinely drive from Sylva/Cullowhee to Asheville for shopping, etc. and that was further), but, if it’s icy, I don’t think it will be much fun (and it’s often colder here, too).
I confess that I’ve never actually seen Damn Yankees, so that should be fun (if we can get there), but I may be looking forward to seeing Quilters (if we can get there) more, since we did it in Hoey back during the 1989-1990 theatre season when I designed and built it, and did lights, too, I think. I confess that I don’t remember the show well, although I know that Claire Eye was in it and I designed a stage floor out of Styrofoam carved to resemble the back of a quilt and covered it with muslin for durability. I do remember that it worked pretty well and that I was pleased with the way the show came together, but it was a long time ago and I think I’d enjoy seeing what someone else did with it. Anyway, I have that to look forward to (assuming that the weather cooperates).
I’m disappointed that I don’t see much evidence of many places taking advantage of the 400th Anniversary of Shakespeare’s death as an excuse for productions of his plays, which I think would be appropriate, but that’s the way it goes. I remember being an undergraduate at Indiana in 1964 (the 400th Anniversary of his birth) and the entire spring season (3 productions) being devoted to Shakespeare’s plays. As I remember it, they included The Tempest and Macbeth, but I don’t remember the other one at the moment (probably because I wasn’t involved in it, being heavily involved with sound for Tempest and playing a small part in the “Scottish” play). I remember that Kevin Kline played another smallish part in the somewhat unfortunate production of this “cursed” play, but I don’t remember which one. He was a freshman, as I remember, and was pretty good even in those days.
Well, enough chatter. I guess I’ll post this and be done with it. I’ll be back in a while with more….