It is, of course, certainly possible that this “Saint’s Day” was simply another case of the church “Christianizing” an earlier, pagan celebration, but we’ll probably never know for sure. (Anyone want to volunteer to do the research?) In any event, it’s now a day for “sweethearts” to pledge their eternal love, etc. Anyway, I figured some romantic advice, especially for lovelorn MALE readers, might be appropriate. I won’t pretend that I made up this stuff, I found it in a variety of sources. That’s not really surprising, I suppose, as romantic advice, or even just advice relating to male-female relationships, is NOT my long suit. Women have always confused me as much as most other guys. In any event, here’s some “advice” regarding relationships with the women, for whatever it’s worth.
"If any of you are thinking of getting married, you might wish to consider the following:
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring. On the other hand, you don’t.
"When a woman tells a man, “Do whatever you want.” Do NOT do whatever you want!
"No man has EVER won a game of “notice anything different about me?” Don’t even try.
If asked this, one MIGHT get away by simply suggesting, 'What have you done to yourself? You look even more beautiful than usual.' This is NOT guaranteed to work, however."
I suspect that part of the difficulty men and women have is that they really don’t speak the same language. For example:
Definitions – Female vs. Male
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a cup.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by - product of indigestion.
Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Perhaps of even greater significance than the terms listed above, at least for male survival, however, are: