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Richard S. Beam

​150     Thoughts About Weddings (It IS June, After All!)

6/6/2019

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I realized the other day that it was June.  Of course, that reminded me that June is considered the month of weddings.  I can only believe that the tradition of the “June Bride” came about because that was when girls graduated from high school or college, so people used to think that the obvious thing for them to do was to get married.  After all, it’s not like they would have any ambitions beyond being a “wife and mother,” that being what they were intended for….  (Please note the sarcastic tone in the above!)
 
Anyway, June is the “wedding month,” so it got me to thinking a bit about weddings.  Of course, it could be (just a little bit) because Maggi (our younger daughter, whom some readers may remember from Fiddler on the Roof, and other shows she was in at Western) sent us the picture below a while back:
Picture
So, Maggi and Brian are engaged and are now in the throes of wedding planning, even though the actual event is not scheduled until next May.  All of this means that (as a Father) I have little to say in the matter and less to have an opinion about.  I think my involvement is going to be pretty much confined to showing up and “giving Maggi away,” assuming that they wish to perpetuate THAT archaic ritual.  Maggi is very much her own woman and WILL have her own way about this whole thing!  (Which I thoroughly approve of, assuming I don’t have to bear all of the expense, which she insists I am not expected/allowed to do.)
 
In any event, with a date pretty well established, the next step is dealing with all of the “Save the date” fol-de-rol.  That will be getting underway quite soon, and I hope will not lead to a situation like that pictured below for any invitees.
Picture
I confess that I am VERY happy about this whole thing, although I have always thought that most people made far too much fuss over what ought to be a very simple process. The most successful marriages that I know of are between people who had already established a firm, committed sort of relationship and who recognized that “love” refers to that condition in which the happiness of the other person was essential to their own.  To put it simply, to people who were, in effect, “married” prior to any legal, or religious, ceremony.  (I credit this definition of “love” to Jubal Harshaw in Robert A. Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land.)
 
That means, at least for the male half of a traditional, heterosexual couple (this may apply to other forms, but my experience with them is pretty limited) being aware of the fact that “Every time you talk to your partner, your mind should remember that… ‘This conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes’.”  I have found that to be useful advice, although I have never really had to worry about it (probably thanks to Bonnie’s patience with me).  Still, I have tried to be a good husband, even if I haven’t always succeeded completely. 
 
After all, I never did something like what is shown below; because what the caption says….

Picture
Nor did Bonnie and I have to deal with this sort of thing because we are not tied to cell phones, which weren’t yet invented before we got married.
Picture
I confess, however, that I have noticed that this phenomenon is not exclusively a male habit, but neither of us has ever been so “phone involved” that it’s interfered with out relationship.
 
That doesn’t mean that Bonnie and I have never had a “disagreement.”  In fact, our “girls” have been known to pick on us because they say that we squabble with each other too much.  I think it’s just because we’ve been like the “established” couple in “Pickles” for a good while.  I think we even agree with the “Pickles” notion of what’s important in a marriage.
Picture
Bonnie and I have been married for a long time (since late1966).  We’ve had our squabbles, but it’s never gotten to the stage suggested below.
Picture
I hope that Maggi and Brian are together as long and as happily as we have been, even if there is the occasional squabble.  After all, a good marriage can be helpful in assisting folks to “Live Long and Prosper.” So, in this month where our thoughts tend to be filled with the idea of weddings and marriage, I wish long and healthy relationships for all of my friends, relations, colleagues, and former students.
 
Happy June.
 
LLAP
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