For whatever reason, the day seemed worthy of some recognition, so I though I’d pull together a “wee bit of a post” in honor of the occasion. Nothing very serious, just some fun stuff I’ve found with an Irish theme. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks with more usual commentary.
I saw this somewhere on the Internet and thought it was amusing.
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?'
'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk.
'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.'
'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.
'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'
'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs the drunk. 'for a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf!
One can’t poke fun at the Irish without mentioning Catholics, so here’s a story which I like a lot:
The wise old Mother Superior from County Tipperary was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable.
They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother," the nuns pleaded, "Please give us some wisdom before you pass."
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said: "Don't sell that cow."
I read that this story happened a long time ago in Dublin, and even though it’s a bit hard to believe, the word is that it really happened. I can’t verify that, but it does seem possible.
John Bradford, a Dublin university student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it got into the car and closed the door… only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t running.
The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it…. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying… and wasn’t drunk.
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other….
“Look Paddy… there’s that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it.”
Happy St Paddy’s Day! I’ll be back in a couple of weeks.