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Richard S. Beam

314 Let’s have a few laughs!

7/23/2025

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It struck me that several of my recent posts have been on topics which were a bit more serious than I have usually focused on.  That MAY be because my progress towards recovery from my recent surgery has been longer and less comfortable than I had hoped, which has meant that life has been a bit more complicated than I would have wished for the past few weeks.  Then, a couple of weeks ago, I had an “incident” which led to my spending a couple of nights in the hospital as they tried to figure out what was going on.  

It seems I had developed an infection related (somehow) to the surgery I had in mid-May which had slowed down and complicated my recovery.  After a couple of days dealing with doctors, hospital, etc., things seem to be getting under control by mid-July.  Unfortunately, this had delayed my Post of July 9ish.  Anyway, I believe I am continuing to make progress, although ALL of my doctors seem to want to make sure I’m doing okay (i.e. I’m not going to sue them), and that I AM recovering (have recovered).  I expect that I will be back to pretty near “normal” (whatever THAT means?) in fairly short order.

Anyway, since I’m feeling pretty good, I decided to look through my files and do THIS post based on some of the (hopefully) amusing pictures, cartoons and funny lines that I’ve collected.  I think it’s going to be fun, and I hope you enjoy it, too.  So, here goes….

I often enjoy the emailed ads of one of our Omaha-local businesses, which consists of a great seafood shop, several casual seafood restaurants, and a really nice breakfast/lunch place.  Anyway, one of their employees, Greg, frequently includes a few of what he calls “Greg’s Groaners” in these ads.  They often include a variety of amusing statements, odd lines to make you think, or other “funny” stuff.  In any case, I find them enjoyable, so I thought I’d include some of them.  

Here’s a couple of fairly recent ones to start things off:

(Greg:) If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me very attractive.

I expect that this could well be considered a completely true statement, but I still think it’s amusing.

(Greg:) I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you. 

Somehow, that thought seemed especially appropriate just after the Fourth of July.

Speaking of holidays and hot weather, how about an amusing Christmas Story picture?
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Now THAT’s a major award!  I know that that reference requires SOME previous knowledge, but I figure that it would take a bit of work to find too many people who wouldn’t “get” it pretty quickly.  If you didn’t understand the reference, just go on, (if you dare) there’s more silliness ahead.

Since it’s after the Fourth, the stores have all started pushing their “Back to SCHOOL” sales, etc., which reminds me that I don’t have to worry about that sort of thing too much anymore.  Unfortunately, it also reminds me of some of the frustrations of teaching, which were a part of my life for many, many years.  When I saw this picture, somehow all of the headaches of grading papers came roaring back.  They didn’t last long, but they DID come back, nonetheless.
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More from Greg:

This one isn’t actually true (at least for me), but I WAS reminded of the various people who come knocking on the door to try to sell me a new roof, lawn service, save my soul (for whichever church is coming around this week), etc.

(Greg:) Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water. 

Along the same lines, I am frequently annoyed by robocalls for various “charities,” political donations, and other scams.  Many (most) of these are rather obviously just a machine going through a list of phone numbers and are unlikely to ever actually connect you to a living person.  One can often tell it’s a “robocall” by the delay in getting a response when you pick up the phone.  Eventually, there’s a “click,” followed by the, generally obviously, recorded voice doing its sales pitch.  I am hesitant to consider this process as having much to do with “artificial intelligence,” although some people do seem to think it’s related.  If it, in fact, IS related, I wonder if this AI stuff is ever going to be what some people think it will be, which makes Greg’s point (below) significant.
​ 
(Greg:) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 

This AI stuff is going to have to get a whole lot better than it seems to be, if Greg’s observation isn’t going to make it a failing proposition.  After all as Greg says:

(Greg:) He who laughs last thinks slowest. 

He also says (and I agree with him):

(Greg:) Take my advice, I'm not using it.   

Of course, one does wonder occasionally:

(Greg:) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?   

I suspect that Greg might be somewhat younger than I, but I certainly don’t know that.  I suspect that almost every male can have some sympathy?; understanding?; recognition? of THIS statement.  (Come to think of it, there just MIGHT be a lot of females who will understand it better than a lot of men might think!)
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 The person driving the truck above might have one of these things in his yard, too.
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You do have to admit that this MIGHT actually work as a bird feeder, although I suspect that there are MANY sorts of critters besides birds who might also get a nibble.  And there are some folks who might find it a bit odd and/or offensive.

Greg often waxes into what some might consider to be the philosophical, with thought-provoking comments like:

(Greg:) I'm great at multi-tasking: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. 


and
    
(Greg:) If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 


I admit that most of Greg’s comments seem to be primarily aimed at men, who probably deserve them.  However, Greg also has comments which seem to be more applicable to (and for) the females of the species.  Here’s a couple of examples:

(Greg:) Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. 
    
(Greg:) Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking. 
​

 I confess that I suspect there may be more truth to these observations than most men would like to admit.

While this year’s “tax season” has come and gone, but with all the recent political debate about the government’s plans for taxes, I feel I might well include this Non Sequitur cartoon which relates to such things.  It also makes me happy that I am married to an accountant’s daughter, who does our taxes (which pleases me greatly).
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To head towards a conclusion (Thankfully, muttered my readers), I wish to include this bit of wisdom from Greg.

(Greg:) Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were. 

I am quite convinced that most (perhaps ALL of us can sympathize with THAT statement from time to time.

As a final word from Greg, here’s something to keep you awake tonight:

(Greg:) Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?​

I suppose that I should include one, final, VERY personal picture/statement.  I don’t really expect this to ever actually happen, but:
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I suspect I’ll be back again in a couple of weeks with something else to dither and blabber about.  I hope this hasn’t driven any readers off, I like thinking that there are people who might get a few minutes pleasure from my drivel.  

As I look at my calendar, I see that my next post should be my occasional commentary related to the hanging of my ancestor, Martha Carrier, by the “good people” of Salem, in the Massachusetts colony, in 1692, just about 333 years ago.  While this, obviously, isn’t an event I wish to celebrate, I think it’s an important reminder that (in spite of what some folks would like have us believe) the true heritage of the US is filled with both good and not so good actions performed by our ancestors, who were neither just sinners nor saints.  I have a few ideas I’d like to discuss in relation to this pretty remarkable woman and her family, which I am honored to be a (small) part of.  Anyway, I expect that I’ll be back and I hope you will be, too.

🖖🏼 LLAP,

Dr. B
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313 This One's for Bella!

7/14/2025

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​This Post is several days late because I have been dealing with some health issues that have kept me tied up and unable to get to my computer.  (I don’t do this on my phone!)  I seem to be improving now and while I’m not back to “normal” (whatever that means), I think I’m better enough to be able to get this post up now, and I hope to continue improving so that I can get back on schedule with my next post, due around the 23rd to 25th.  We’ll see…. I have no plans to go away, but the schedule may be a bit odd for a bit.

Anyway, here’s the post I had planned for July 9th.

A few weeks ago, we lost Bellatrix, one of our cats.  Now, I am NOT going to get all sloppy and sentimental about the idea that she went to Kitty Heaven, and is happy there, etc.  She was, after all, just a cat and when you’ve had as many of them as we have, you learn that it’s likely that you are going to outlive them, or have to find them a new home, or SOMETHING, so they won’t be with you forever.  That’s just the way life works with pets.  Now, Bella was a fully mature cat when we got her, and her litter-sister, Narcissa, (yes, we named them for two of the Black daughters in the Harry Potter books) several years ago.  

They were born (we were told) in 2009 and we acquired them in March of 2021 because we had recently lost an earlier cat and our daughter, Maggi, encountered the two of them in an adoption place while she was seeking additional cats for herself.  (Yes, both of our daughters are also “cat people.”)  She thought that our only having ONE cat at the time was a shame, AND these two were litter mates who had been together all of their lives, AND they had had their front claws removed (they had been “declawed”), so they needed a safe, relatively quiet place to pass the rest of their lives, since their “little old lady” previous owner was no longer capable of taking care of them.

That made them 12 when we acquired them, so they turned 16 this year, which is really quite elderly for a house cat (roughly a bit over 80 in human years, I’m told) so we were very sure that they were unlikely to be a problem for our heirs. And, Bonnie and I are quite convinced that Bella had some sort of stroke, or something similar, about December 19 of 2021.  On that occasion she was extremely lethargic, walked badly (when she tried to walk), held her head a bit cock-eyed, ate almost nothing and, basically, appeared to be on Death’s doorstep for several days.  Then, on the 24th, she perked up a good deal and was almost normal for the rest of her life.  Now, I have to admit  that she NEVER really seemed to have recovered completely, but she didn’t seem to be too far from it until her recent, last, illness.  Call it a “Christmas miracle” if you wish.  I can’t explain it, but I did watch it happen. 

What I am suggesting is that we both knew that a 16 year old house cat, in less than perfect health is probably living on borrowed time and, when our Vet told us in the middle of last winter that Bella had “stage 4 kidney disease,” it seemed unlikely that she would last too much longer.  That does NOT mean, however, that she isn’t missed, now that she’s gone.  She was always relatively placid, not too much of an “active, playful, jump around” sort of cat, at least for us.  Her sister, Narcissa (Cissy), is MUCH more inclined to that sort of thing, but she’s not exactly young either.

In any case, a bit of time having passed, I thought I’d see what I could find in the way of pictures of Bella and do a post of them with some memories.  I suspect it will do me some good, as I DO miss her, as one does when one loses a pet.

Here’s a nice (I think) picture of Bella in happier days, standing on an armchair in my basement office from a while back when she was pretty healthy.  I include it because that’s really how I think of her, and it shows her coloring and her bitty bob tail, which I thought was very cute, never having had a truly bob-tailed cat before.  This is how I think of her.
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As I indicated before, for most of her life with us, Bella wasn’t really all that affectionate to me, although neither of the girls were antagonistic towards me.  However, Bonnie has been the one to feed them most frequently, so SHE was the one they bonded to the most, EXCEPT, of course, for each other.  I said they were litter mates and it certainly showed.  For example, here’s a picture of Bella keeping an eye on her sister.  (NOTE half-open eye watching sister!)
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Actually, the two of them spent a good deal of time “keeping each other warm,” as shown above, and below.
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Curled up NEXT to each other, as above, was, actually, quite common, but occasionally, one or the other (most often Bella) would take the responsibility for the other’s warmth quite far, as shown here:
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​Still, they didn’t spend ALL of their time sleeping.  While both of them displayed the common cat habit of “investigating” boxes which came into our home, I think Bella engaged in this more often than her sister.
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Perhaps she learned from this experience that she should examine the situation quite carefully before committing to even trying a box out.  I say this because, not long after the above incident, I got the following pictures.  

So, here’s Bella contemplating whether THIS box would suit her needs/desires.
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Apparently, she decided that THIS box was worth the effort of at least “trying out,” so she gave it a go.
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AS I remember, she enjoyed this box for as long as we left in around for her to play in.

Especially towards the end of her life, Bella became a bit more affectionate towards me than she had commonly been earlier in her life with us, so I do have this “selfie” of the two of us.  It isn’t a very flattering picture of me, but that’s okay, ‘cause I took it to have a picture of her.

​
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Anyway, Bella’s gone now.  If there IS a “cat heaven,” I hope she’s there, feels good and is happy.  I am well aware that I’m being silly, but I do miss her, as I miss ALL of our pets-gone.  Most people who have (or HAVE had) pets know that losing a pet is not a happy experience.  But, just as we have in the case of friends and family who are gone, we have memories, and the very human desire to spend time remembering the “Good Times” we shared.  That’s how I feel about ALL of the pets (cats) we have lost, too.

If you’ve ever lost a pet, you know what I mean.  I hope you have many good memories of them, as I have of mine (ours).

Forgive me, if this has brought you down a bit.  That wasn’t my intent.  I just wanted to spend a little time remembering my Bella.  

I plan to be back in a couple of weeks, with something a bit more cheerful.  Please join me.

🖖🏼 LLAP,

Dr. B
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