341 Schools are starting up again!

My calendar says that the Millard School District of Omaha (our local one) is going to start its classes next week, so I guess that it’s THAT time of year again.  I spent quite a few years attending school as a student and a good many more on the other side of the desk.  All things considered, they were (as I nostalgically look back on them) not bad years.  I think I even enjoyed them.  That may well be because my father had a PhD in Electrical Engineering and was a member of the EE faculty at Northwestern University from before I was born until he retired; my mother (the daughter of an English Professor/ A&S Dean) had a Master’s degree in Library Science, worked in a couple of university libraries prior to her marriage and, after her children were grown, was “certified” as a “School Librarian,” and worked in that capacity for the Evanston Public School system for a number of years.  My brother, had a PhD in Political Science, spent a number of years as the Director of the Graduate Program in Public Administration at Illinois Institute of Technology, and was married to a high school teacher.  Even my sister married a (now retired) high school History teacher and Dean of Students. 

Obviously, things educational played a significant role in much of my early life, so it doesn’t seem unlikely that I would have decided to work in the field of education.   So, after determining that I loved many aspects of the Theatre, I discovered, that I got too much pleasure (and could earn a somewhat modest, but adequate, living) working in Theatre Education trying to pass along what I knew (and continued to learn) to others in the classroom, the shop, and in production AND I decided that I really did NOT wish to devote my life to the trials of working in “professional” theatre.  I believed (still do) that being in Theatre Education was a worthwhile way to devote my time and energies.

Given the above, what else could I do but what I did?  I believe that something of a passion for teaching still runs in my blood, so I think it’s appropriate to do a post related to the beginning of the school year.  So, here goes!

One of the first challenges to starting the school year, of course (even for teachers, who have “Faculty Meetings” to attend prior to classes actually beginning) is just forcing one’s self to get up and get started after (sometimes) having a more relaxed and flexible schedule when school is not in session.  Hence, this cartoon makes a good deal of sense to lead off any discussion of starting the school year.

All teachers, I suspect, both look forward both to STARTING the year and to GETTING that chore over, and it MAY be worse when your class load and schedule changes rather completely every Quarter or Semester!  On the other hand, some teachers (perhaps especially at the university level), have, or may HAVE had, fantasies about how to “break the ice” with their students on that first day, leading to some fantasies about unusual behavioral choices.  Below, I reprint some extracts from “50 Fun Things for Professors to Do on the First Day of Class” by Alan Meiss as examples.  (HIs full list DOES number 50 items, but these struck me as the most generically useful.)

1.    Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stopwatch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering "tsk, tsk”.

2.     Play "Kumbaya" on the banjo.

3.     Announce "you'll need this", and write the suicide prevention hotline number on the board.

4.     Announce to students that their entire grades will be based on a single-question oral final exam. Imply that this could happen at any moment.

5.     Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed normally.

6.     Announce that last year's students have almost finished their class projects.

7.     Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.

8.      Give an opening monologue. Take two minute "commercial breaks" every ten minutes.

9.      Ask students to list their favorite show tunes on a signup sheet. Criticize their choices and make notes in your grade book.

10.   Sneeze on students in the front row and wipe your nose on your tie.

Mind you, I have never actually tried any of these techniques out, and I’m not sure I would recommend doing so, but they COULD lead to some interesting results.  On the other hand, perhaps some more useful tips would include the idea of following Aunty Acid’s advice, especially with rambunctious younger kids.

A (perhaps?) useful notion with students who are a bit older (upper grades and high school?) would be to just post a sign (something like the one below) where all of the students can EASILY see it, but to NEVER actually mention it, or point it out.  One MIGHT, however, if it became necessary, just stop and, VERY quietly, take a LONG, OBVIOUS look at it.  I have a suspicion that this technique MIGHT be more effective than one might initially believe at first thought!

One must, however, especially with the youngest kids, never underestimate them.  Most of the time they are much more aware of what’s actually going on in the school than adults might think.  I think this idea is captured quite well in this cartoon from For Better or For Worse, where a Dad is tucking his kindergarten daughter in bed after her first week in school.

On the other hand, teachers, especially Professors, need to be careful when talking to students about the work for their class.  They should be sure to reinforce the idea that they expect their students to be engaged in serious WORK, especially when that work involves the sciences.  Otherwise the students might actually come to understand the truth of the message of THIS picture.

I confess that that image brings up what is a rather sore point for me.  Far too often, especially at the University level, the “Trinity” of Teaching, Service and Research is touted as being the proper function of “Professorship.”  What I saw, much too often in my opinion, was that “Teaching” was assumed to be acceptable (or better) pretty much as long as one wasn’t sued or charged with illegal behavior; “Service“ was, almost exclusively, valued only when it promoted one’s university within the greater profession OFF CAMPUS, and “Research” wasn’t worth much unless it was published in “scholarly” journals and/or presented at professional conventions (even if such “publications and presentations” were only to small (sometimes VERY small) gatherings of highly specialized “scholars” in, highly “specialized” fields.  And, of course, getting a textbook published was like winning an Emmy, an Oscar, a Tony, or a Pulitzer Prize, especially if it was “adopted” by others.  
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I think this Non Sequitur (below), supports this notion quite clearly and, while it IS specifically focused on drug-related research for commercial purposes, I would suggest that the basic idea also applies to the vast majority of fields of study.

After all, the REAL point of research is to promote one’s university as being at the “top of the field”  in order to obtain grant monies, which will allow it to attract the best GRADUATE students, who will actually DO most of the actual research work (under faculty “supervision.”  BUT, such work will reflect well on the UNIVERSITY as a whole, and, of course, on the “Supervising Professor.”  But enough grinding of THAT axe.  

One thing I believe that teachers at all levels (except, perhaps, those who teach the very young) notice, is that, eventually, the STUDENTS start to seem to be getting younger, while they (the faculty) don’t feel like they have gotten all that much older.  (DO THEY?  DID I?)  I don’t remember being conscious of this impression until relatively late in my teaching career, but this Zits cartoon suggests that it might even happen to “upperclass” students, as well, though I don’t remember that from my own “student” experience.

However, as much as the vast majority of students quickly decide that they “can’t wait for next summer to come,”  I would suggest that much the same is true of teachers as is suggested by THIS (below) from Six Chix.

I think that a really smart Elementary School Principal might increase morale among his/her faculty by installing something of this sort in her/his school’s “Teacher’s Lounge.”  I strongly suspect that it would at least get a few laughs, and might well relieve some of the pressure during the middle of the school year.  At least, it wouldn’t have to cost a lot and would be a fun thing for the faculty and staff.

I’ll be back in a couple of weeks.  I hope, especially if you’re about to start school, you have a good year, and remember, it WILL, eventually, be over.  At least until you have to do it all over again next year….

🖖🏼 LLAP,
Dr. B

"Well, in all my years I ain't never heard, seen nor smelled an issue that 
was so dangerous it couldn't be talked about. Hell yeah! I'm for 
debating anything."
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